Two stories for the price of one

The other day a friend asked for some help moving. I called Stevie to asked if I could borrow his beastly green truck. The beastly green truck had less than a fourth tank of gas when I picked it up, so I stopped at the gas station on my way to meet my friend. I jumped out of the truck, shut the door, opened the gas cap, realized I had pulled into a stall that did not provide diesel, put the cap back on, went to get in the truck and realized I had locked the keys (along with my purse and phone) in the truck. AGGGGHHH! I am so stupid sometimes. I ran into the gas station and asked to borrow the phone. I dialed my hubby's number, but of course he didn't answer because he never answers a call he doesn't recognize (sometimes he doesn't even answer calls he does recognize.) So I left a friendly, kind, sweet, patient...(you get the picture) message saying I would be calling back in a few seconds and please answer this time. He did answer, and I can tell he rolled his eyes when I explained my dilemma. But he said he would come rescue me nonetheless. While I was patiently waiting for my night in shinning armor to come save me, I wandered back over to the truck. That is when I noticed I had rolled the window down about an inch and a half. I jumped up on the running board and shoved my arm down into the truck, but I couldn't quite reach the lock. There was a lady at the next pump filling up her mini van, so I asked her if her arms were longer and skinnier than mine (that resulted in a very strange look.) She took her jacket off and stepped up on the running board. She was closer than I was, but still could not reach the lock. She told me to hold on and got her daughter out of the van. We hoisted the
7ish year old up and she tried and tried and tried to pull up on the lock. Then she asked if she could take a brake. I thanked her for her help and she informed me she wanted to try again she just needed a rest. So we lifted her back up, she reached her skinny little arm into the truck, struggled to find the lock, found it and TAAADDDAA she pulled up unlocking the beastly green truck. The rest of the moving experience happened without incident! I learned my lesson, never leave keys in the ignition.

Second story:

Yesterday was just an average day at work. The outpatient schedule looked relatively easy for a Friday. That all changed late in the day. An inpatient was brought down for a scan of the abdomen. She was a somewhat difficult patient and she did not have the best of hygiene care (I don't know if this was personal or if it was due to the floor staff either way, she did not smell like roses.) Due to a series of events, neither Jana, my coworker, nor I looked through this patients exam before sending her back up to her room. A few hours later our radiologist called saying the patient needed to be brought back down to have a drain placed in a ginormous pocket of infection called an abscess. We sent for her immediately, moved her back to the table and struggled to get her into a position where the radiologist would be able to place a drain in the buttock area. Rolling her over ruffled up some smells that had been lingering in the bed. I gagged. The radiologist came in to begin the invasive procedure and told me he needed a fan to circulate the air. I giggled. We had our masks on but this did not help 'mask' the smell. Our doctor localized the area with some lidocaine, placed the needle and slid the drain in, puss started to ooze out! The smell was horrific. Our nurse turned her head, the radiologist stepped back to regroup and I ran into the control room gagging and eventually lost my lunch. (I thought that might be more polite than saying I ralphed, I puked, I hurled, or I up chucked at work) Dr. Blatter came in the control room so I could take some images to make sure the drain was in place. Shaunna our nurse said "Jana, I am so sorry you threw up!" Dr. Blatter made some comments about "Jana" puking at work too and that I would never be able to live it down. I felt no need to correct them in calling me the wrong name since Jana was actually out getting other patients ready because we were so far behind and couldn't defend herself. News spread fast and Jana was sure to correct everyone so they knew it was 'Rebecca' who actually couldn't handle the smells of our poor patient.

What can I say, so much fun just in one short week!