I have to go back to work tomorrow morning and it is breaking my heart to even think about leaving my little grunting munchkin. Yesterday, every time I looked at him I broke into tears. He would look back at me and smile, which of course only made me cry harder. I have loved being home with him for the past 3 months (can you believe my baby is 3 months old this week?)
I have loved our "summer break"
I loved walking with my friend Ann each morning. I hate to make her ego any bigger than the YW already did at girls camp, but she seriously was exactly what I needed as a brand new mom. She taught me so much this summer about motherhood, babies, cooking (Jed thanks her everyday at dinner time) and being a good friend. She makes me laugh. Thank you "My Friend Ann!" (I'm sure she will love this gorgeous pic of her)
I love that my sister had a baby 6 weeks after I did. Even though she is a bazillion miles away, texting, pictures, the blogs and phone calls have made this a wonderful summer to have babies together. I so wish we were next door neighbors and that Sawyer and Darcy could grow up together. One day... one day!
I am grateful to my mommy and to Jed's mom who will be taking care of my sweet boy. It helps a little bit to know that I don't have to worry at all about him while I am working because he will be with someone who loves him.
I have loved watching this little guy grow and develop. I love his crooked smile. I love him in his PJ's (I just want to squeeze his adorable little bum and kiss him all over when he is wearing pajamas) I love that he laughs at me when I make funny noises. This boy loves the outdoors. He loves to look outside, he loves to be outside. I love that he wants it to be his mama who comforts him when he is sad. I love that he loves his dad and his Grandpa Stevie, (the boy knows how to pick good examples to follow). I love that he wants to be cuddled sometimes and that he wants his alone time sometimes. I love love love this baby.
So my alligator tears will continue, but somehow everything will be just as it should be, because in my life I have come to realize that it always is!
7 comments:
What a bittersweet post. I need to sit back and appreciate my little varmints more. *sigh* I am glad grandma{s} get to take care of him (even though I would have LOVED to) because being a "babysitter" it breaks my heart to see kids away from their mommy's so much (without a 'second' mom watching them instead) - though at a little bit older the interaction with other kids is much more vital to their development (IMO). What a sweet sweet little guy with amazing parents, and he is going to have a great relationship with your mom! my mom is closest to the grand kids that she babysat a lot as babies (I mean obviously she loves them all!) I wouldn't have it any other way but to have my mom watch my kiddos if I had to work - which her health doesn't really allow (another reason I am clinging desperately to my current fragile situation, however long it may last) Thanks for your comment on my blog and yes he is often reminded that he is the gender provider - which is why we are still married, or still having babies, or both :) someday...
It is hard going back to work. I went back to work after I had Kaitlyn. I felt just like you are feeling. But there are good points, you can eat your lunch in peace and catch up with your work friends ;) Little Sawyer is lucky to have such a great mom.
I feel for you. It is not always easy to be a working mommy. And I love the excitment from Ella everyday when I come home from work. It is good he gets to be with people who love him almost as much as you do.
You are such a cute mommy! But when you come home - when you are with your cute little son, you will cherish it so much you and make every moment count!
I know exactly how you are feeling. I started working the midnight shift so Jackson wouldn't have to go to a babysitter. I lasted about 9 months getting no sleep trying to work and be a mom and not succeeding at either. Your litte guy will love time with grandma(s), but let me tell you, he will be so excited when you pick him up. I am so lucky I found a surrogate grandma in our ward to watch J. Its OK to let everything else slide a bit so you can spend time with Sawyer when you get home!:) Hang in there!
Rebecca, I know how you feel too! I was sooooo sad to go back to work after Kate. I had most of the summer off last year too and it was wonderful! Staying at home with these sweet little things is the best thing in the world. I just always had to tell myself she would be o.k. with the babysitter and I would just work hard all day. The worst part is leaving for work. Once you're there it's not so bad.
Good luck back at work! Maybe I'll actually bump into you sometime.
I am only just reading this now, but feel for you! I can just imagine how hard it would be to go back to work and leave such a cute little boy!
I bet your Mom is looking forward to the extra time with him though :)
How has it been to be back at work?
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